Some elements of the childbirth course of are extraordinarily lovely. The half the place the husband wrings his spouse’s blood out of her dirty linens and drinks it from tiny lavatory cups, nevertheless, will not be a kind of elements.
But that’s precisely how Wednesday’s episode of American Horror Story: Double Feature begins, with the bittersweet arrival of Harry and Doris’ new
blood bag child. “We’re greater than OK,” Harry assures his extraordinarily involved spouse. “Any further, we’re going to be nice.” (Once more, I can’t stress this sufficient — he drank her dirty linens! That is far from nice!)
Extra from TVLine
As anticipated, issues solely grow to be much less OK for the Gardner household. Like when Doris says she feels useless and Harry replies, “Not fairly.” Or when Doris walks in on Alma sucking her child brother’s blood from his foot. Issues are aggressively not OK at this level.
However if you happen to’re searching for regret, don’t look to Alma. That little HBIC is merely happy with herself for a way effectively she performs after ingesting child blood, and she or he couldn’t care much less about freaking out her mom. “I nonetheless don’t perceive why you retain her round,” Alma says. “We’re making an attempt to be nice at one thing, daddy. Individuals like her simply need to get by the day. We need to dwell deep.” (At this level, the tortured artist metaphor is the maple syrup to this present’s flapjacks — and it’s being laid on actual thick.)
Ursula manages to persuade Doris that she dreamt the entire ordeal — she additionally throws in some informal physique shaming for good measure — however her plan falls aside when Doris notices tooth marks on the child’s leg. Relatively than maintain Doris complacent with extra lies, Alma goes rogue and tells her every little thing. She even provides her mom a tablet, which Doris outright rejects… at first, anyway. After Holden reads Doris’ “primary Pottery Barn bulls–t” designs for filth, Alma is ready to persuade her that perhaps taking the tablet isn’t such a nasty thought.
Sadly, Doris quickly discovers that she isn’t fairly as proficient as her husband and daughter. Hell, that days-old toddler may most likely furnish a home higher than her. Both approach, Doris’ physique quickly begins the method of reworking into, as Holden would say, “a kind of pale, unusual homeless creatures sporting the AIDS-era couture.” And he or she does not put on it effectively.
Harry is ready to cease Doris from murdering his new blood provide — sorry, I imply child — however the injury is finished. So as to add insult to damage, Alma even admits that she and Ursula purposely gave Doris the tablet realizing that she wouldn’t be proficient sufficient for it to work. (Severely, that little woman is an absolute savage. I do know I’m not speculated to root for her, however I’m additionally terrified to not.) As a way-too-smiley Harry and Alma watch Doris 2.0 wander into the streets, a smug Ursula spouts this little bit of knowledge: “There’s nothing extra tragic, pathetic and unhappy than an individual with no expertise making an attempt to make it on this planet.” (I’m sorry, that’s the lesson we’re supposed to remove from all of this?!)
The episode ends with Ursula bringing Alma to fulfill with the Chemist, hoping that her little woman charms will assist dealer a deal. (Possibly Ursula shouldn’t point out Alma’s style in bunnies and infants, simply to be protected.) On their approach, they encounter a completely zombie’d-out Doris, and it’s actually extra unhappy than it’s scary.
Talking of issues each unhappy and scary, we should focus on Mickey and Karen. The episode begins with issues wanting up for the previous, who’s now been given the duty of launching a whole Velocity Racer cinematic universe (the dream!), however the latter has by no means been decrease. However simply to show that issues at all times can worsen, Belle calls for that Karen retrieve the Gardners’ child, lest she lose her solely safety from the… you understand… the creatures.
Karen refuses, and she or he even manages to persuade Mickey to assist her “save” the child, however the plan goes up in smoke after they encounter Doris mid-transformation. They handle to flee, however a swarm of bloodsuckers quickly surrounds poor Karen on the road. Mickey solely provides to guard her if she takes the tablet, ditching her when she as soon as once more refuses. “I really like you, Karen,” he tells her. “You’re my muse. You’ll be the heroine in each story I ever write.” That is meant to be his ultimate goodbye, as he leaves her to be devoured by the untalented plenty — so she takes the tablet!
Optimistic viewers are most likely imagining a state of affairs the place Karen fulfills her potential, touring to Los Angeles with Mickey and taking Hollywood by storm. However long-time American Horror Story viewers are realists at this level, and we all know higher. So we’re solely a bit of stunned when Karen rips out Mickey’s throat on the seaside earlier than slitting her personal wrists and strolling into the ocean.
To paraphrase the good Avril Lavigne, a lot for his or her joyful ending!
Your ideas on this week’s episode? Your hopes and predictions for what little of Half 1 stays? No matter’s in your thoughts, drop it in a remark under.
Better of TVLine